I’ve had Generalized Anxiety Disorder since I was 16 – at least, that’s when I was diagnosed with it. I’m halfway to 26 and I feel like I’m just coming to terms with the fact that nothing’s wrong with me.
Somedays I’m Rough Around The Edges
There are days where I feel like I’m totally out of my element. I don’t feel like talking to anyone, but I feel lonely. Little things bother me, I take what people say the wrong way, I have mood swings. My mind is always spinning and I can’t stop thinking about things that are not too big of a deal.
But Somedays I’m More Down To Earth
Yet, there are some days where I feel the complete opposite. I might ignore text messages one day and the following day I try to talk to everyone in my contacts. Part of this is because I feel bad for ignoring them earlier, but it’s mostly because I actually want to talk to people. I feel good enough to engage in conversation.
Somedays I’m Sad
There are days when I get out of bed and move straight to the couch. I’ll try to get writing or blogging done, but I stare at my computer screen instead. I want to cry, though there’s nothing to cry about. I get zero things done during the day and at the end of the day, I’m angry at myself for not getting anything accomplished. Yes, I know it’s good to take a day off and take breaks, but my mind doesn’t see it that way sometimes.
But Somedays I’m Happy
Yet, there are some days where I’m all over the place. I’m extremely happy and bouncy for no reason. I get everything on my to-do list done and then some. I’m talkative, I’m awake, and I want to be around people.
Every Day I’m Me
Everyone goes through mood swings. Everyone has good days and bad days. We all feel like we have it worse than everyone else – and for some, that’s true. But we also have it better than someone else as well. We just don’t realize it.
So, yeah. Somedays I’m easy to be around and other days I’m not. But it’s me all the same.