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Anxiety Tip: How to Pick and Choose Your Battles to Remain Calm

12 April 2023

When I went to therapy years ago, I remember my therapist telling me that I needed to pick and choose my battles when it came to anxiety.

If I don’t need something in my life or it won’t affect it in any way, then I don’t need to push through the anxiety. I can just give in because we need to do that once in a while. On the other hand, if it’s interfering with my life and stopping me from living it, then I need to fight back the anxiety. Pick and choose your battles, decide what your anxiety can get away with and what it can’t get away with. I’ve explained this before in a previous blog post a few years ago. I went to the movie theater to see Detective Pikachu. I get bad anxiety going to the theater so I don’t go anymore. I’ll wait for the DVD to come out or go to a streaming service. Going to the movie theater is not essential to live my life, so I decided not to fight that battle. (Detective Pikachu was an exception because I couldn’t wait for that movie. Spoiler alert: I won that battle.) Even though I won that time, going to the movie theater still isn’t worth the stress, so I still don’t go.

What I can’t avoid

Of course, there are times when you need to fight the anxiety. Going to the doctor? That’s kind of essential to living. So, I need to push past my anxiety on that front. I’m petrified about going to the doctor. I’m not entirely sure why or when this started, but as I got older I got more and more anxious to go to the doctor. I think it’s the atmosphere. I never liked getting shots, I don’t like the “hospital” feel to it. I have a weak stomach in general when it comes to medical stuff. I’ve never skipped a physical though (I don’t think) so I just deal with the stress and anxiety of it each year.

How I push through it

First, my mom comes with me. The drive to my doctor’s office is a bit weird with odd parking so that stresses me out. My mom is great and takes me to the doctor every year. She’ll sit in the waiting room for me. I don’t know why, but knowing she’s in the building is calming enough. I also bring my worry stone with me and try making appointments for early in the morning so I’m not waiting around all day, freaking out about it.

This year was different

This particular doctor appointment was different because we’re still in the middle of a pandemic. My Mom had to wait in the car, I had to call before they allowed me into the building, everyone’s wearing masks, it was weird. I’ve been having trouble going anywhere without seeing “germs” all over the place. So, imagine what it was like going to a doctor’s office where sick people actually go. Of course, it’s the doctor so they know what they’re doing in terms of keeping everything clean. It still freaks me out though. The appointment went normally otherwise. It always does. Still, I worry about it.

What I did the rest of the day

Even though the appointment went fine and only took about an hour from the time I left my house to the time I got back, I was totally wiped for the rest of the day. I got home and played Animal Crossing for four hours before I had to go get the kids from school. You need to pick and choose your battles and if you win, definitely give yourself some time to cool down afterward. You did it, you deserve it.

How do you pick and choose your battles? Let me know in the comments below.

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