Anonymous Tip Excerpt
I entered the kitchen, hoping to keep quiet enough so I wouldn’t wake Lilah in the other room. To be honest, I was surprised she was even still asleep at this time. Most of the time she would wake me as early as six in the morning just because she was bored and wanted someone to hang out with.
I turned on the kitchen light and took out a pan from a drawer under the oven. I thought of waiting to make breakfast for when Lilah woke up, but I was hungry and she was able to fend for herself when it came to cooking. I took out the eggs and butter from the refrigerator and placed them on the counter next to the sink. Then I rolled up my sleeves and turned on the water to wash my hands.
“ACK!” I shouted in surprise.
I immediately turned off the faucet and looked down at the giant wet spot covering most of the front of the shirt. Breathing heavily from shock, I looked at the faucet to make sure nothing was wrong with it.
That’s when I saw it: a rubber band tied around the squirt nozzle.
I grinded my teeth together and shook my head. I willed myself not to get frustrated; that’s exactly what she was going to expect from me.
“Good morning!” Lilah greeted in a sing-song voice. She entered the kitchen without bothering to look at me, but she had a wide grin on her face. She opened the refrigerator and put her head in.
“Let me guess,” I leaned against the sink glaring at her. “You’ve been awake this entire time and have been waiting for me to come into the kitchen to soak myself.”
Lilah stood up straighter and grinned looking me up and down. “Are you wet? I didn’t even notice.”
“Lilah,” I growled.
“Oh, you already took out the eggs and butter. Perfect.” Lilah muttered closing the refrigerator. She walked past me, still smiling, but not looking at me.
“I hate you.” I muttered as she walked by.
“Hate is such a strong word, George.” Lilah looked me in the eye right after putting a glob of butter on the pan. “Besides, it’s April Fool’s Day. You didn’t expect me to carry on like it’s a normal day, did you?”
She turned on the stove and watched the butter melt before she proceeded to crack a few eggs into a bowl.
I sighed watching her. No, I guess I couldn’t expect Lilah to treat a day dedicated to pranking people go by wasted.
Lilah Williams was my colleague for my private investigation business. She came walking unexpectedly into my house a few months ago giving me my first freelance case. When that case turned into a homicide and we figured out the real cause of death of her father, Lilah ended up staying a lot longer than intended. She even decided to move in with me.
It wasn’t bad having Lilah live with me. It was nice to have the company and she was a big help with my agency. She advertised a lot for my business through her blog, which was extremely popular on the Internet. If only her blog would start getting me regular cases, then we’d be all set.
“You want scrambled, right?” Lilah broke the silence. She had just finished mixing the eggs in the bowl and was pouring it onto the melted butter in the pan.
“I guess so.” I shrugged. She had already turned the eggs scrambled anyway.
“Good, because I forgot to ask before I started making these.” Lilah snickered.
“You were too busy laughing at my pain.” I said melodramatically.
“Oh, please. You got a little wet. You didn’t melt, did you?” Lilah looked over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow.
“I guess not,” I muttered and stood up straight once more. “I am going to get changed before breakfast, though.”
“Well, hurry up. It’s almost ready and eggs cool fast.” Lilah sprinkled some salt and pepper over the yellow puddle in the pan.
Once I finished getting dressed for the second time that morning, I went back to the kitchen and wrinkled my nose. Lilah sat at the kitchen table sipping on a cup of coffee, the scent taking up the entire kitchen.
I sat down at the table across from her and ate my eggs as quickly as I could.
“Slow down,” Lilah scolded. I noticed she had already finished eating her eggs.
“You know you’re not allowed to make coffee while I’m in the house.” I muffled with a mouth full of food.
“That’s never stopped me before. That’s a stupid rule, George. It’s a smell, get over it.” Lilah tipped her head back and gulped down the rest of her beverage. She placed the mug on the table and sighed with satisfaction.
“We should go for a walk this morning.” Lilah announced.
I finished eating my eggs and leaned back in my chair eyeing her.
“It’s supposed to get up to about 65 to 70 degrees today. Spring is officially here!” she cheered knowing she needed to convince me more.
“You are more than welcome to go for a walk, Lilah. In fact, I think it’s a great idea. Then I can have the house to myself for a little bit.” I bared my teeth in a smile.
“Don’t be such an old man.” Lilah smirked. “It’ll be fun. It’ll be good for us.”
“We walk enough.” I complained. “And I didn’t use to be an old man… you made me this way the moment you first knocked on my door.”
Lilah stared at me with a serious expression.
I sighed, “Fine, we can go for a walk. This isn’t going to turn into a daily thing though, is it?”
“It can,” Lilah perked up, “I think that would be a great idea! Walking is excellent exercise.”
I rested my head on the table pushing my empty plate to the middle.
Lilah grabbed my plate and put it in the sink for me. I sat up slowly watching her with a close eye. I expected her to rinse the dishes and then place them in dishwasher; she couldn’t stand any mess and dirty dishes in the sink was a huge pet peeve of hers.
I had to wonder, did she remember…?
“AHH!” Lilah shrieked the moment she turned on the faucet.
I grinned so wide my face began to hurt.
Lilah turned around with her arms held out as though she herself was contaminated. A huge wet spot stained her blouse. She narrowed her eyes at me. “Don’t you say a word.”
I began to laugh. “Karma!”