I’ve had Generalized Anxiety Disorder since I was 16 – at least, that’s when I was diagnosed with it. I’m halfway to 26 and I feel like I’m just coming to terms with the fact that nothing’s wrong with me.
Somedays I’m Rough Around The Edges
There are days where I feel like I’m totally out of my element. I don’t feel like talking to anyone, but I feel lonely. Little things bother me, I take what people say the wrong way, I have mood swings. My mind is always spinning and I can’t stop thinking about things that are not too big of a deal.
But Somedays I’m More Down To Earth
Yet, there are some days where I feel the complete opposite. I might ignore text messages one day and the following day I try to talk to everyone in my contacts. Part of this is because I feel bad for ignoring them earlier, but it’s mostly because I actually want to talk to people. I feel good enough to engage in conversation.
Somedays I’m Sad
There are days when I get out of bed and move straight to the couch. I’ll try to get writing or blogging done, but I stare at my computer screen instead. I want to cry, though there’s nothing to cry about. I get zero things done during the day and at the end of the day, I’m angry at myself for not getting anything accomplished. Yes, I know it’s good to take a day off and take breaks, but my mind doesn’t see it that way sometimes.
But Somedays I’m Happy
Yet, there are some days where I’m all over the place. I’m extremely happy and bouncy for no reason. I get everything on my to-do list done and then some. I’m talkative, I’m awake, and I want to be around people.
Every Day I’m Me
Everyone goes through mood swings. Everyone has good days and bad days. We all feel like we have it worse than everyone else – and for some, that’s true. But we also have it better than someone else as well. We just don’t realize it.
So, yeah. Somedays I’m easy to be around and other days I’m not. But it’s me all the same.
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I think that’s true for most people. To different extremes, perhaps. But still.
Oh, definitely. We all experience it differently.
Take care of yourself! Knowing this much about yourself is already great!
Thank you! 🙂
I don’t know the extent of your mood swings or the direction(s) they take, but a good book you might like is “Embracing the Fear: Learning To Manage Anxiety & Panic Attacks” by Judith Bemis and Amr Barrada. And you’re right, there’s nothing wrong with you 🙂
I haven’t heard of this book before. I’ll be sure to check it out. Thank you. 🙂
In the same vein, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway (Susan Jeffers) is also really good.
Thanks, I’ll take a look at that too!
Rachel, to me you are SO brave. I can barely write about myself, you are brave enough to tell everyone about you. I wish I was more like you, you’re the bravest person I know.
Be proud of who you are, don’t try and hide yourself. You are who you were born to be. And you were born to be great. Always believe in yourslef and you can do anything. 😉
Thank you, that really means a lot. 🙂 I’m coming to terms with it, definitely. Writing about it, as hard as it is, definitely helps.
You’re welcome.
By talking about it, by sharing this with others that is a huge step forward. You are not hiding anything. Continue being who you are while keeping this out in the open. By doing so you stay in control.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Thank you so much. I appreciate you reading and the kind words. It’s getting better. 🙂
I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and I feel the same way you do: mood swings, happy one day and sad the next, some days I’m put together and some days I’m falling apart. It’s like being on a roller coaster. But I’m always me, just like you’re always you. Thanks for posting! 🙂
This made me smile. Thank for taking the time to read and comment. And thank you for being you. 🙂
Hey, thanks for talking about yourself and your ups and downs. I always feel better when I hear others are experiencing things like I am. It’s good to not be alone.
You’re rockin it friend!
Thank you for reading. 🙂 It definitely helps to talk about it.