Short Story Sunday 232: Deal

Short Story: Deal | Flash Fiction | Creative Writing | Blogging |

“Are you interested?” Steven asked. He leaned back in his desk chair interlocking his fingers together behind his head. He crossed one leg over the other making himself comfortable. In his mind, the deal was done. There was nothing else that needed to be said. The man before him would say yes, write a check, and then Steven would happily go to the bank.

“Um,” Grayson stammered. He stroked his chin staring down at the ground deep in thought.

Steven narrowed his eyes while Grayson wasn’t looking at him. “What do you mean, um? This is what you came here for, am I right? What is there to think about?”

“The price,” Grayson looked back up at Steven who forced his lips into a pleasant smile again.

Steven uncrossed his legs and sat forward again, folding his hands on the surface of his desk. “This price, huh? What about it?” Of course he knew what Grayson was going to say, but he needed to buy himself some time. He needed to think of something to convince Grayson the deal was worth it.

“It seems a little high.” Grayson shrugged. He stood up from his chair and walked over to the window. He stared at the car outside. “It’s an old car with a lot of miles on it and it’s been in quite a few accidents. I don’t know if I’m able to trust it.”

Steven frowned. “A few accidents?”

“You don’t think I didn’t look up the history of the car? Or yourself, for that matter, before coming here?” Grayson said looking over his shoulder at Steven. He smiled at him putting his hands in his pockets.

Thrown off guard, Steven couldn’t help but force a smile back. “Uh, no of course not. I’d think you’d be silly not to look up the history of the car… or myself.”

Grayson turned around so his full body was facing Steven. “I’ve heard a lot of things about you and the shady business you conduct.”


“You don’t have great reviews on the internet, though there are a couple promising ones. The cars you haven’t aren’t in the best of shape and you don’t offer to help repair them for your customers. Just what kind of an operation are you trying to run here?” Grayson said.

Steven stood up and pressed the palms of his hands firmly onto his desk trying to keep himself standing steady. “Honestly, I’m shocked those are the kinds of things that are going around myself and my business. But, you know what they say, you can’t trust anything that’s said on the internet.” His demeanor changed in the middle of his speech. He stood tall and shrugged with a light chuckle.

Grayson frowned and let out a sigh. “Steven, I know everything. It’s not just the internet, it’s friends and family too.”

“Really?” Steven stiffened.

“I’m sorry to say I believe it all. Now that I’m here I see for myself what everyone was talking about. I thought I would give you the benefit of the doubt, but I’m beginning to see I was wrong.” Grayson explained.

Steven let his shoulders drop and he gazed down at the ground in defeat.

“Despite the reviews, I came here because you’re my brother. I was hoping you’d treat me as such instead of a customer.” Grayson said shaking his head in disgust. “I mean, really. This car is for your niece. Don’t you care what she drives? Don’t you want her to be safe?”

Steven looked back up at his little brother. He finally sighed nodding in defeat. “Alright, fine. I’ve got the good ones out back.”

“The good ones?” Grayson asked suspiciously.

Steven nodded. “I save those for the rich customers. That’s why no one you know has ever told you about it.”

Grayson nodded. Fair enough. Their family didn’t come from money.

“Pick whatever you like… and it’s yours.”

Words: 653

I hope you enjoyed this story! Let me know in the comments below. If you liked this post, please share it around. Also, check out the other Short Story Sundays I’ve done!

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6 thoughts on “Short Story Sunday 232: Deal

  1. Hi, Rachel.
    The car deal was ok.
    It seemed like the middle of a story.
    It doesn’t seem to stand on its own.
    It held my interest.
    Jim Horne
    P.S. You should capitalize Internet because it’s a proper noun.
    PPS Patreon is a little problematic.
    I tried sending a note to them via the portal, but it wouldn’t go, because I didn’t specify I was a patron. ‘FIELD MUST BE FILLED OUT ‘ error.
    My Reference librarian tried to help.
    She said it’s Patreon, not you, Jim.
    PPPS I’m in it for the long haul.

    • Hey Jim, thanks for reading and for the feedback. It’s appreciated. 🙂
      Are you able to send me a private message through Patreon?

  2. A really great story and wonderful characters. A good plot twist too, just the part where he reveals he’s researched him but they are already brothers. Kinda threw it off, otherwise its great!

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