Title: Unpacked Sparkle
Author: Patrick A. Roland
Published: November 2016 by Az Publishing Services, LLC
How I got the book: I received a free digital copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review
Over a year ago, I left a Mariah Carey concert in Las Vegas after six songs. I had gone on the trip as a present to myself for turning forty. But I couldn’t enjoy it. I was high on multiple drugs, but mostly crystal meth, and extremely drunk. I had been this way the majority of the year and a half since my partner Pack had suddenly passed away.
I found him dead on the bathroom floor one January morning while I was getting ready for work. The police told me I had no rights in my own home and asked me to leave. This was before gay marriage became legal. Life as I knew it changed instantly.
His family pretended I didn’t exist. They mauled our home the day he died, leaving it a ravaged mess. I was kicked out of that home. I was also disinvited to his funeral. In eight days I lost everything that mattered. Not even the law protected me from this.
So I got high in an effort to shoulder the pain. It didn’t work. I carried the heavy weight of unresolved complicated grief and addiction on my back. It was like an elephant. A large, unwieldy elephant that wanted me to die.
No longer able to participate in anything that mattered and unwilling to bear this burden anymore, I went back to my hotel room on the twenty-sixth floor of a casino and looked out on the sparkly lights below. I wanted to be in the light. So I opened the window and decided to jump.
But God intervened. My mother had somehow found me. Help came and I surrendered to the powerlessness of my situation. I asked God to help me. I stayed and I fought and I learned how to love myself. I put on a pair of sparkly shoes I had bought for that barely attended concert and I walked in to the rooms of Crystal Meth Anonymous. I had bought the sparkly shoes hoping Mariah would see me in the audience. Though she didn’t get the chance, you did. You all embraced me and my sparkly shoes. They have become my calling card of experience, strength, and hope.
I found this book to be interesting right away because I love a good memoir, especially uplifting stories about hope and how others overcome obstacles in their lives. After interviewing the author, I definitely wanted to read the book.
This story is about the author going through recovery from the untimely death of his partner, his addiction to drugs and alcohol, as well as him being mentally ill with bipolar.
I feel as though there’s not much else I can really say about the story more than what the summary has already mentioned about it. It’s a sad story, but uplifting that conveys an important message that you should just read for yourself.
The main character is, of course, the author as he tries to regain control of his life after the death of his partner, Pack. Throughout the course of the story we not only learn a lot about the author, but we get tidbits about Pack as well, among his parents, Pack’s family, and various friends the author has met along the way.
I felt as though we learned just enough about everyone involved in the various situations. The characters were explained in a good way that we got a good sense of their personalities and how important they are to their roles in the author’s life.
I feel as though I know the author in real life. The voice was his own, as it should be, and I got the sense he was telling me his story over a cup of coffee in a cafe. It was personal and there weren’t any lulls in the story that jolted me out of it.
My only complaint was the timeline and the chapter headings/beginnings. The chapter titles were mostly song titles, which is cool since he loves music, but the timeline was jumbled. It would have made more sense to add the dates to the titles. Also because at the beginning to of most chapter, the author rehashed what had happened to Pack so it was just too repetitive.
I thought this was a good read. It was short around 200 pages, but the story got told and I didn’t feel as though anything was left out or that something was left untouched. It was an inspiring read and definitely something everyone should give a read.
Unpacked Sparkle by Patrick A. Roland gets…
5 out of 5 stars
“I even forgave them, because continuing to hate them as they hate me gives them power.” –Patrick A. Roland, Unpacked Sparkle
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