Start With: New Year’s resolutions make me…
New Year’s resolutions make me want change. They make me want to better myself. I don’t always give myself a new resolution each New Year and when I do, I never follow through with it. For the month of January (and maybe February) I will bring my resolution into action, but it never lasts long. I always say I’m going to be more active and more social, but instead I find myself on the couch in front of my favorite TV show.
Ever since I dropped out of high school I haven’t been able to keep in touch with my friends. I never saw them during the day (as they were all in school) and now that they’ve graduated, they’ve all gone off to college and I’m still sitting on my couch. I thought about going to college, I really did. Yet, the time, effort, and money I had to put into it just didn’t seem realistic to me. It was sort of the reason I dropped out of high school when I was 16. It was a waste of my time. College would not only waste my time, but I would have to pay for it as well. Nope, that wasn’t going to happen.
Some of my friends stayed local and went to college here while a few went away to new states. And I only know this because of Facebook. Those friends I do not stay in touch with at all. My local friends are always busy with homework or they have a job. I kind of gave up on trying to get them to come over or go out somewhere because of this. One friend has the morning shift at her work and the other has the night shift. Yet, on Facebook, there are plenty of pictures of them hanging out together. How do they find the time?
Sure, I’ve been invited to go out with them a few times here or there, but they were always doing something I didn’t want to do. For example, they would be heading to the movies to see a film that looked stupid. Or maybe they were just going to a coffee shop just to talk. One time, I actually caved in and went to a coffee shop with them and you know what one of my friends said to me?
“Joan, look! There’s a sign that says they’re hiring. Why don’t you put in an application?”
What, did my mother put her up to that one? That was the last time I saw and spoke to that friend. She never did figure out why, either. She called me a few times here and there trying to get in touch, but I never responded. Eventually the calls stopped and now I only know what’s going on in her life because of social media. I guess she gave up on me.
Another friend I don’t really talk to anymore actually told me I needed to “grow up.” Seriously? Just because she graduated from high school and was getting some fancy degree at a university and that she had a well-paying job in some field she absolutely loved, didn’t mean she was an adult and I was still a child. Yes, I sleep in until noon on an almost daily basis, but I wake up super early on Saturdays! …Well, sure it’s because cartoons are on, but what’s it to her?
I looked to the TV and the news was counting down until the New Year. Five seconds left.
I looked at the vacant seats on either side of me in my living room. I sighed.
Four seconds left.
I slouched down on the couch. I was alone, but that was nothing new.
I wondered what my friends were doing for the New Year.
I bet they were doing something stupid. Something I wouldn’t be interested in, anyway.
On second thought, New Year’s resolutions make me want to gag.
*Prompt from The Write-Brain Workbook by Bonnie Neubauer*