I Have Issues

Today Was  A Joke…

 

Today was the first day in a long time that I have nothing to do. So I told myself that I was going to wake up early, take a shower, and write. And write, and write, and write some more. Except things didn’t go exactly as planned.

I’m stuck.

I didn’t get a chance to write at all this past weekend. There were some times here and there I would have been able to squeeze some words in, but I didn’t. Normally I would have or if I didn’t, I would have been freaking out about why I didn’t get anything done. Not this time. I didn’t feel like writing and that was that.

I’m going to assume I burned myself out when it comes to writing. But this burn out couldn’t have come at another time? It’s in the middle of the July, I have Camp NaNo to finish. Not to mention I’m already losing next week because I’m going on vacation. I don’t need to lose two additional days.

So I told myself today was going to be an all day writing day. I can’t tell you how many words I have written because I literally have no idea. I am so burned out that every time I tried to write today, I said: “Screw it!”

I’m writing Cybertra for Camp NaNo and I’m ahead of the NaNo goal, but 11,000 words behind my own goal. Two days and I’m that far behind…what? I forced myself to write it and I got about 540 words done. Then I realized…I’m just not into the story anymore. I still love the characters, the plot is good, but…well, the plot isn’t going as well as expected. I feel like I want to keep the prologue then scrap the whole rest of the novel. But that’s over 20,000 words…is it worth it to do in the middle of Camp? Is it wort it to do it at all?

I heard (I forget where) that you should never delete your writing whether you’re going to use it or not. Good writing is writing and bad writing is still writing. Not to mention there might be something in there that you will like later on. I hate deleting things I write because then I just feel bad. I mean, it was a good idea at the time I wrote it, right?

So I didn’t delete it, but I’m definitely not going back to the story any time soon. Which is sad because I was in love with it when I first started. I think I just need a break. Maybe next month I can get back to it. But now how am I supposed to finish Camp NaNo?

I tried writing a couple of children’s picture books…I finished one, but it sucks. I attempted to write another, but I got about two lines in and that was that. I started Hunter & Comet, the first book of a middle grade series I want to write. I wrote about a page and couldn’t get into that, either.

I looked at my list of stories to write. Maybe I just need something brand new? None of those ideas appealed to me. At the moment, anyway. And I’m afraid to start any new young adult novels because I already have four that need to be edited.

I tried writing some FanFiction. I wrote about a page then quit.

It’s about four o’clock in the afternoon, I have to get something written. I want to get something written. But it’s not going so well. And I’m afraid today is going to be a bit of a waste since I’m probably not going to have another day to write all day like this one in a long time.

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35 thoughts on “I Have Issues

  1. I’m over 11,000 behind my NaNo goal and much like you I’m feeling overwhelmed by the sheer numbers. The hill of words has become a mountain and its making it hard to focus.

    Whatever you do: don’t delete your work. You can scrap whatever you like when NaNo is finished, until then whether you plan to keep it or not, it’s still valid word count.

    Other than that, the only helpful advice I can think of is to set yourself small word goals with rewards. I’m telling myself after I write 1,000 I can watch an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Thinking of which, I’m going to go back to climbing my mountain of words. According to the NaNo-meter I need to get over 2,000 words done today and everyday until the end of the month to succeed. I’m hoping I can push myself to 3,000 per day in an effort to gain speed a bit faster. I’d LOVE to see my word count bars match up with the line graph. The sooner I can do that the better.

    • No, I am not going to delete my work. I would never do that, I would feel too bad. I’m still going to use it for NaNo, but I don’t think I’m going to be continuing it this month. I definitely need a break from the story.

      Incentives are a good way to get yourself motivated. Good for you for doing that. I hope you make it and have the time to write 3k a day. Good luck to you! 🙂

  2. I feel your pain. I too hit a block in my NaNo project. I still like the story (or maybe just the idea behind the story) but I’ve got nothing… It’s a touch frustrating. At least I’m still getting some writing done, just not for Camp. Sigh.

    As for words and rewards… I’m terrible at that. I slug back coffee and eat chocolate all day already. I could always reward myself with some scotch, that’s a tasty treat!

    Best of luck with the writing, Rachel.

    • At this point I may just cheat and add anything and everything I write for the rest of this month to my word count. If I get in the mood to write my NaNo again, that would be great. But I don’t know.

      Good luck to you, too!

  3. I think we’ve all been there on this one. I wouldn’t delete anything though. Definitely worth hanging onto it all, and maybe working on something else. When you come back to this later on, you may find stuff you want to salvage and be able to produce something even better around it. Never give up! Everything you write is useful in some way!

    • Right, that’s why I’m not going to delete anything. I know I’m going to appreciate someday. I just wish I could appreciate it now lol

  4. Burnt out yesterday, so decided to change from writing on a computer to writing on paper. I can’t write as fast as I can type, but at least I’m getting those words down.

  5. Burnout happens from time to time and sadly, it often happens at the worst times. If it makes you feel better, you can add your 700 word post to your 540 words. It doesn’t always seem like it, but some writing or any writing is better than no writing at all.

    Good luck finishing Camp! I imagine it would feel great to go on vacation and still reach your goal in time. I’m cheering you on 🙂

    • Lol, thanks. But I’m picky–I tend to like getting 50k from one story, but I’ll be flexible and add any writing…except my blog posts. Technically it’s not words for a real “story.” Unless I plan on taking all my blog posts together to put into a memoir, I won’t count them. Yes, I’m odd.

      I’m hoping to finish…I’ve been slowly working on fan-fiction stories, which is what I’ll only be able to work on during vacation. So hopefully I can get the notebooks typed up by the end of the month and maybe it’ll reach 50k. I only need about 23k more words.

      Thank you!

  6. Ain’t no one ever said that you can’t use those 20,000 words for your word count. Put them in their own document, paste the prologue into a new one, and start again. Or just put the whole thing in that document and do something entirely different. As long as you wrote it in July, it counts.

    • Oh, I am definitely using those 20k words! I wrote that in July for a story I intended to be specifically for Camp, I sure am going to include it, lol.

      It just stinks that the idea of the story doesn’t really appeal to me anymore. I wish I could continue on with the story and finish it.

  7. I don’t know anything about NaNo, sounds like a weird idea to me. But if you’re stuck with your novel, why not pick out one part of the story that really appeals to you and write that. It might be just a single scene, but it could lead to you picking it up again. Just a thought.

  8. I read your post…know what, you’re not alone! I have there in that situation many times, so I can somehow relate to your feelings. I’m not a professional writer, I’m not even perfectly good in English and grammar, but because I love to write and write (even to the point that I don’t know what to write), I still keep on going. Sometimes I feel like I’m not really good in writing at all, but then again, even professional writers feel the same often times—right, right?

    • Oh, of course! I’m sure there are times when authors write something and they think to themselves, “What am I thinking?!”

      It’s frustrating to be stuck like this; especially since I have never really had this much of writer’s block before. But one just has to keep plugging along and write anything to get through it. 🙂

  9. Been there! Nearly 30,000 words in and it all came to a screeching halt. I realised I’d added too many minor characters and my main character was a bit blah. The whole thing had lost its muchness.

    So I rethought everything – characters, plot, everything – and started again (keeping the old document for reference).

    It’s a lot better now, but there are still times it’s hard to just sit down and write – I’m travelling to another world, after all, I can’t just pop in and out!

    • Ugh, that is so annoying! There are sometimes I wish I just had a magic wand and POOF! The book is well written edited, and already has a publisher waiting for it.

      Oh, well…we will get there. If all us writers complain enough, we will eventually encourage each other enough and everything will go as planned. 🙂

  10. I’m late to this discussion – probably too late to be of any help – but like you I got stuck and disillusioned with my story. I put it away for a couple of months, and when I re-read it I realised that what I needed to do was write it again from a different point of view. It really rejuvenated me, and the story, and now the book is finished and published. It seems like an insurmountable hurdle, I know – what, write it ALL AGAIN?!!! But you know how writing can flow when it’s right, and clog when it’s not. So take a break from it for now, and see if a fresh eye and a new perspective brings back your enthusiasm for a story you once loved.

    • It’s never too late to give advice!

      And yes, I did put it away. I’m hoping that I’m going to get back into it soon enough. For the time being, I found another novel that I’m more interested in. Maybe when I finish this one, I’ll end up getting back into Cybertra. Who knows?

      Thank you. 🙂

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