Getting Down To Business…
So…yesterday was my birthday. And as I sat there on my birthday, I began to realize something serious. And I must talk about it.
I started this blog for an important reason. I didn’t start it because I’m in love with the Internet and is constantly on the computer whenever I have free time. I started this because I wanted to journal about my writing. I wanted to share my ups and downs of the process…the writing, the editing, the getting published…I wanted to share what I know about the process and things that I am just learning. I wanted an online journal to share with the world and others who are in the same position as me. I want to learn from other blogs, I want others to learn from mine. I may have been writing for 9 years now, but just because it’s been nearly a decade, doesn’t mean I’m an expert. I still have no idea what I’m doing.
I read others blogs about writing and I do learn a lot. Some people say one thing while others think differently, but then I have to choose which option I think is best for me. Which one I agree with. I read writing blogs and a lot of them say the same things, “I write this many pages every day; I write for a minimum of an hour a day; I just finished editing my novel; I’m getting self-published/published!” Well, of course that is great news for those people. But as I read that I think to myself, “I want to write that much a day and be in a routine; I want to have a novel completely finished; I want to be published.” See the difference? I want. They do.
I remember last New Year’s, 2011. I was at my friend’s house and as we waited for the ball to drop, I asked myself, “Is this the year? Is 2012 going to be the time when I at least fully write and edit a novel to send out places? Or maybe I will have a book in the process of being published by the end of the year?” Now that it’s been almost a year, I realize that I am in the exact same spot I started in. I haven’t gotten any farther.
Now, it’s not like I haven’t been doing anything the past year. I have been busy with homework and with work and babysitting and family issues as well as friends…I have done a lot in 2012 and I still have a few more months to go. But considering how much writing I have done, it makes me question my future.
My goal in life is to be a full-time author. I don’t want to have a day job as well as a writing job on the side as though it’s extra money. I want to sell as many books as I can and be able to call myself a full-fledged writer. I may not be the next J.K Rowling, but I sure hope that I make a name for myself. I have so many ideas to share with the world. I have to share them.
But sometimes I get worried and have to ask myself questions that no one will ever know the answers to. I write because I love to write. However, will I be good enough? When will I be good enough? I’m in school learning about education in case writing doesn’t work out…so am I doing the right thing or is school wasting too much time that could potentially be the next great best seller? Will I become a writer…or will I be teaching the rest of my life? If I become a teacher, is that because my books didn’t sell enough to give me the income I needed to use that as my only job or is it because writing just didn’t work out at all for me? If writing works, am I just going to leave my teaching past behind? And the big question…is writing in my future at all?
I wish I had a big crystal ball, but the reality is that I don’t. I don’t have any answers to any of those questions and I’m not going to until I start really trying. I need to try writing three pages a day…I need to work at editing a novel. I know the process is long and hard…but who knows, maybe if I work really hard the end of this year, 2013 will be my year. But we just don’t know…
My oldest sister and I are Sunday school teachers at our church. We went to the director’s house to get our curriculum books for the year and she informed us that she is stepping down. My sister and I are the new directors together. That’s one more thing I have on my plate this year. School, work, Sunday school, babysitting, homework, family, friends…but I will fit in a time for writing. Even if it’s five minutes a day. I have to. No more “I want.” It’s all going to be “I do” or “I did.”
So…here’s to another year older. Maybe not another year wiser. But hey–we’ll give it a shot. 😉 Cheers.